Environmental Implications of the Creation of Earth Roshan's Humour List Article: Environmental Implications of the Creation of Earth

Environmental Implications of the Creation of Earth

In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth.  Quickly he was faced
with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was
stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part.

Appearing at the earing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in
the first place.  He replied that he just liked to be creative.

Then God said, "Let there be light."  Officials immediately demanded to
know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining?  What about
thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball
of fire.

God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no
smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain a building
permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half the time.
God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night."
 Officials replied that they were not intereted in semantics.

God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed." The
EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let waters
bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over
the earth." Officials pointed out this would require approval from the
Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and
the Audubongelic Society.

Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in six
days.  Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review the
pplication and the environmental impact statement. After that there would
be a public hearing.  Then there would be 10-12 months before...

At this point God created Hell!

Thanks to Rick Schroeder for this contribution

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This message was sent on 12 April 1997