ANALOG: Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed nuts BACKUP: Opposite of go forward BATCH PROCESSING: Making a lot of cookies at once BIT: 12-1/2 cents BRANCH: If watered, it will grow into a computer club (see computer club) BUG: 1. Programmer's term for a feature. 2. An elusive creature living in a program which makes it incorrect. Note: The activity of "debugging" or removing bugs from a program ends when a programmer gets tired of doing it, not when all the bugs are removed CHARACTER DENSITY: The number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space COMPUTER: A device designed to speed and automate errors COMPUTER CLUB: Used to strike computer forcefully upon receiving error messages CODING: An addictive drug COMPILE: A heap of decomposing vegetable matter COMPILER: Noah Webster (1758-1843) CONSOLE: What one does to a "down" computer CURSOR: An expert in 4-letter words DUMP: A system programmer's work area FEATURE: Hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative HARDWARE: The parts of a computer which can be kicked KEYBOARD: An instrument used for entering errors into a system LANGUAGE: A system of organizing and defining error messages LOOP: See loop MACHINE-INDEPENDENT PROGRAM: A program which will not run on any machine MICROCOMPUTER: One millionth of a computer NULL STRING: The result of a 4-hour database search ONLINE: The idea that a human should always be accessible; also what to do when one isn't. PASSWORD: The nonsense word taped to your terminal Thanks to Niluka Harshini Mahanama for this contribution.
This message was sent on 6 Nov 1996