'Twas the night before release date and all through the house, not a program was working, not even a browse. The Programmers hung by their tubes in despair, with hopes that a miracle soon would be there. The users were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of working code danced in their heads. When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter. And what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a super programmer with a six-pack of beer. His resume glowed with experience so rare, he turned out great code with a bit-pushers flair. More rapid than eagles, his programs they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name. On Menu, On Report, On Procedures And Delete, On Monitor, On Batch-jobs, On Functions Complete. His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean, from weekends and nights spent in front of a screen. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon made it clear we had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, turning specs into code; then he turned with a jerk; And laying his finger upon the
key, the software came up and worked perfectly. The menues, they menued, the deletes they deleted, the reports they reported, and the batch-jobs completed. He tested each whistle, and tested each bell, with nary a stack dump, and all had gone well. The software was finished, the tests were concluded. Our users' last minute requests were included. Then the users exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt, IT'S JUST WHAT WE ASKED FOR, BUT NOT WHAT WE WANT!
This message was sent on 30 Oct 1996