Computer Engineer


If you stare at an orange juice container
simply because it says CONCENTRATE.

If your wrist watch has more
computing power than a 486DX-50

If you introduce your wife
as "mylady@home.wife"

If your spouse sends you an e-mail
instead of calling you to dinner

If you look forward to Christmas only
to put together the kids' toys

If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will
be the one to find the burned-out bulb in the string

If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something
other than hanging coats and taping ducts

If your idea of a fun evening consists of fast-forwarding through
the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

If you don't even know where the
cover to your personal computer is

If you have modified your can-opener
to be microprocessor driven

If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush

If you ever burned down the gymnasium
with your Science Fair project

If you have ever saved the power cord
from a broken appliance

If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"

If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it

If you rotate your screen savers more
frequently than your automobile tires

If you have a functioning home copier machine,
but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal

If you have more toys than your kids

If you need a checklist to turn on the TV

If you have a habit of destroying things
in order to see how they work

If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight

If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

If you can type 70 words a minute
but can't read your own handwriting

If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life

If you spend more on your home computer than your car

If you know what http:/ stands for

If your lap-top computer costs more than your car

If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

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This message was sent on 23 Oct 1996