A few observations on Life...

 * Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans
 * If nobody uses it, there's a reason
 * You get the most of what you need the least
 * You are never really successful until someone claims he sat beside you
   at school
 * To err is human, to admit it, superhuman
 * A modest man is usually admired, if people ever hear of him
 * It is not real work unless you would much rather be doing something else
 * When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is
   on time
 * Trouble - The supply exceeds the demand
 * You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to
 * Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough
 * It works better if you plug it in
 * As soon as you mention something; if it is good, it goes away, if it is
   bad, it happens
 * Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear
 * An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance
 * Never let hold of what you've got until you've got hold of something else
 * Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
   happen to you the rest of the day
 * For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
 * It is easier to get forgiveness than permission
 * Life is the greatest bargain - we get it for nothing
 * Needs are a function of what other people have
 * If things were left to chance, they'd be better
 * If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe you
   just don't understand the situation
 * For every human problem, there is a neat, simple solution; and it is
   always wrong
 * If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again,
   it will be a rerun of the same episode
 * It is better to be approximately right than precisely wrong
 * Never take a cross country trip with a kid who has just learned to whistle
 * The trouble with being on time is that no one is around to verify it
 * Do you ever feel like your life is in instant replay?
 * It takes two to tango but one has to bend backwards
 * Life begins at 40, but only a fool waits that long
 * The good thing about growing old is you only have to do it once
 * Calories don't count; they multiply
 * Life is a grindstone; whether it grinds you down or polishes you up depends
   on what you are made of
 * You're never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you're never
   as bad as they say when you lose
 * Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore. And that's what parents are
   created for
 * When things are bad, we take comfort in the though that they could always
   be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are
   so bad they have to get better
 * I'd enjoy the day more if it started later
 * There's nothing so irritating as to have someone go on talking when you're

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This message was sent on 23 Jul 1996