Fast Cars A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 1996 Turbo BeepBeep. The Turbo BeepBeep is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it cost its new proud owner $500,000. Admiring himself, and his new possession, he takes it out for a spin. No sooner did he get it out of first gear than he is forced to stop for a red light. While sitting patiently for the light to change, an old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old and both sputtering, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?" The dude replies "A 1996 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000." "That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?" "Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly. The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?" "Sure" replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!" Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going 2, maybe 3 times as fast! The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeep?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn't be, thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror! WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The guy jumps out, and jeezus to betsy, it IS the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"
This message was sent on 3 Jul 1996