Fast Cars

                               Fast Cars
A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe,
a 1996 Turbo BeepBeep. The Turbo BeepBeep is the best and most
expensive car in the world, and it cost its new proud owner
$500,000. Admiring himself, and his new possession, he takes it out
for a spin. No sooner did he get it out of first gear than he is
forced to stop for a red light. While sitting patiently for the
light to change, an old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years
old and both sputtering, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks
"What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"

The dude replies "A 1996 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000."

"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost
so much?"

"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool
dude proudly.

The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure" replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice
car, alright!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man
what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the
speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear
view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going 2, maybe 3
times as fast!

The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo
BeepBeep?" Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.

Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old
man on the moped! Couldn't be, thinks the guy. How could a moped
outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview

WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his
car, demolishing the rear end.

The guy jumps out, and jeezus to betsy, it IS the old man! Of
course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy
runs up to the dying old man and asks "You're hurt bad! Is there
anything I can do for you?"

The old man replies "Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view
mirror on your car!"

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This message was sent on 3 Jul 1996