If a tree falls, and there's no one to ....

This is a story going along the lines of "If a tree falls, and there's no
one to hear it, does it make a sound?".

A tree fell in the forest last night, and boy, did I ever hear it.

It was about 2:45am, when suddenly amidst the pitter-pattering rainfall
there was a rustle rustle-rustle CRACK rustle-crack ssssshhhhhh CRACK
SHAKALAKAWAKABAM!  badumpbadumpbadumpbadumpbadump--oops!  That last part
was actually my rapidly beating heart.  The tree fell right up against Tolley,
nearly coming through the windows on the first floor, which would have given
the Shakespeare interns a pretty good start ("Hark!  What tree through yonder
window breaks!")

Well, secur--oops!  I mean Public Safety--came by to ensure that the fallen
tree was not pinning down any Drew students, who naturally lurk in the forest
behind Tolley in the rain at 2:45am.  Luckily, no one was hurt, but the officer
did ticket the tree for taking up 2 unauthorized parking spaces.  I went to bed
secure in the knowledge that Drew does indeed posess a security force willing to
go out on a limb for us.

Unfortunately, in this case, Public Safety proved a bit too efficient:
I was awakened in the wee hours of the morning by a man with a chainsaw.
Luckily, this man had no beef with me;  unfortunately, he had a pretty sizable
bone to pick with the tree.  Right outside my window.  For the next hour.

So I missed a decent night's sleep during the most conducive weather for sleep-
ing all summer.  At least I learned something:  If a tree falls in the forest,
and you're around to hear it, shut down your local power grid before you go to

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This message was sent on 19 Mar 1996