Perplexing Proverbs

Yesterday's "Lost Tooth Redemption" was actually from Sarcasm's Mailing
List.  Today's mailing deals with proverbs.  Actually they're old proverbs
with a new twist.  Go through the following and see how many you can place!
:)  The mail I got did NOT have the answers, so I tried my best to figure
them out.  Almost everything accounted for, except #12, #23 and #28.  If you
DO figure out the anwers for the above mentioned numbers, then let me know.
The known answers are at the end of the mailing.
                                          - Roshan
                   _,.-*~'^'~*-.,__,.-*~'^'~*-.,_

PERPLEXING PROVERBS
1.  A rotating fragment of minerals collects no plants of the class Musci.

2.  Exercise your visual facilities prior to executing a jump.

3.  An excess of individuals skilled in the preparation of edibles impairs
    the quality of a thin derivative of meat.

4.  A feathered biped in the terminal part of the art equals in value a pair
    of feathered bipeds in densly branched shrubbery.

5.  Everything is legitimate in matters pertaining to ardent affection and
    armed conflict between nations.

6.  The herbage is customarily more verduous on the diametrical selvage of
    the property division.

7.  A single unit of a seam properly distributed at the correct measure of
    duration will maintain a square root of 81.

8.  Feathered bipeds in their segregated environment associate with a high
    degree of amiability.

9.  Any object that ascends into the stratosphere irrevocably and inevitable
    descends to terra firma.

10. Reclining early on one's couch and rising with the sun creates one who
    is salutary, opulent, and erudite.

11. Taciturnity is aurous.

12. Superfluous chronological dispatch institutes riddance of valued
    effects.

13. There's no sense demanding attention by loud screeches over fallen white
    liquid derived from the lactic glands of a female bovine.

14. Splintered wood and mineral chunks can rupture my skeletal system, but
    nomenclatures do not injure me.

15. Monetary exchange is the source of everything sinful.

16. Visualizing is the equivalent to having faith.

17. Pulchritude pertains solely to the epidermis.

18. Immature homo sapiens should be endowed with visibility but not oral
    facilities.

19. If primary failure is imminent, new attempts should be made
    repetitiously.

20. A ferrous alloy rope fashioned of interlocking loops is only as hearty
    as its last potent section.

21. One more than one is a congenial group of invited guests, but one more
    than two is a multitude.

22. Hemoglobin is more viscous than H2O.

23. Perambulate in moccasins, and shoulder a gargantuan wooden rail.

24. Lack of what is required is the matriarch of inspiration.

25. Allow somnolent quadrapeds to remain reclining.

26. A maximum amount of purposeful activity and a minimum amount of disport
    and dalliance cause Jack to become a dim-witted, stagnant dunce of 
    the male species.

27. That which is acquired without difficulty is dispersed with equal
    facility.

28. It is more desirable to exist in the medium of time which constitutes a
    later than desirable date than not to exist in the time period at all.

29. A red fruit of the Maius family absorbed into the digestive system 
    every 1440 minutes or 86,400 seconds keeps a medical desciple from 
    entering your home sweet home.

30. Individuals continuing daily functions surrounded by fused sand
    structures should be forbidden to hurl missles.

31. Refrain from enumerating your poultry precursory to their incubation and
    emergence from their embryonic habitat.

ANSWERS
=======

1.  A rotating fragment of minerals collects no plants of the class Musci.
    - A rolling stone gathers no moss.

2.  Exercise your visual facilities prior to executing a jump.
    - Look before you leap.

3.  An excess of individuals skilled in the preparation of edibles impairs
    the quality of a thin derivative of meat.
    - Too many cooks spoil the soup.

4.  A feathered biped in the terminal part of the art equals in value a pair
    of feathered bipeds in densly branched shrubbery.
    - A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

5.  Everything is legitimate in matters pertaining to ardent affection and
    armed conflict between nations.
    - All's fair in love and war.

6.  The herbage is customarily more verduous on the diametrical selvage of
    the property division.
    - The grass is greener on the other side.

7.  A single unit of a seam properly distributed at the correct measure of
    duration will maintain a square root of 81.
    - A stitch in time saves nine.

8.  Feathered bipeds in their segregated environment associate with a high
    degree of amiability.
    - Birds of a feather flock together.

9.  Any object that ascends into the stratosphere irrevocably and inevitable
    descends to terra firma.
    - What goes up, must come down.

10. Reclining early on one's couch and rising with the sun creates one who
    is salutary, opulent, and erudite.
    - Early to bed, and early to rise, makes one healthy, wealthy and wise.

11. Taciturnity is aurous.
    - Silence is golden. 

12. Superfluous chronological dispatch institutes riddance of valued
    effects.

13. There's no sense demanding attention by loud screeches over fallen white
    liquid derived from the lactic glands of a female bovine.
    - There's no use crying over spilt milk.

14. Splintered wood and mineral chunks can rupture my skeletal system, but
    nomenclatures do not injure me.
    - Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

15. Monetary exchange is the source of everything sinful.
    - Money is the root of all evil.

16. Visualizing is the equivalent to having faith.
    - Seeing is believing.

17. Pulchritude pertains solely to the epidermis.
    - Beauty is only skin deep.

18. Immature homo sapiens should be endowed with visibility but not oral
    facilities.
    - Children should be seen but not heard.

19. If primary failure is imminent, new attempts should be made
    repetitiously.
    - If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

20. A ferrous alloy rope fashioned of interlocking loops is only as hearty
    as its last potent section.
    - A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

21. One more than one is a congenial group of invited guests, but one more
    than two is a multitude.
    - Two's company, three's a crowd.

22. Hemoglobin is more viscous than H2O.
    - Blood is thicker than water.

23. Perambulate in moccasins, and shoulder a gargantuan wooden rail.

24. Lack of what is required is the matriarch of inspiration.
    - Necessity is the mother of all inventions.

25. Allow somnolent quadrapeds to remain reclining.
    - Let sleeping dogs lie.

26. A maximum amount of purposeful activity and a minimum amount of disport
    and dalliance cause Jack to become a dim-witted, stagnant dunce of 
    the male species.
    - All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

27. That which is acquired without difficulty is dispersed with equal
    facility.
    - Easy come, easy go.

28. It is more desirable to exist in the medium of time which constitutes a
    later than desirable date than not to exist in the time period at all.

29. A red fruit of the Maius family absorbed into the digestive system 
    every 1440 minutes or 86,400 seconds keeps a medical desciple from 
    entering your home sweet home.
    - An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

30. Individuals continuing daily functions surrounded by fused sand
    structures should be forbidden to hurl missles.
    - People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

31. Refrain from enumerating your poultry precursory to their incubation and
    emergence from their embryonic habitat.
    - Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

Thanks to Chris Cholas for this contribution.

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This message was sent on 22 Nov 1996