Lost Tooth Redemption


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From: Tooth Fairy 
Subject: Lost Tooth Redemption
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Dear              :

Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost
or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the
following reason(s) indicated below:

( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for
    appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of 
    our visit
( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or 
    were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
        [  ] string
        [  ] pliers
        [  ] gunpowder
        [  ] hammer marks
        [  ] chisel
        [  ] part of skull attached to tooth
        [  ] no dental care
( ) other:

Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following
certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near you.
Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.

Sincerely,



The Tooth Fairy

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This message was sent on 21 Nov 1996