Win'95 bashing!

/*

TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
Project: Chicago(tm) 

Projected release-date: 
Summer 1994-------------Spring 1995

*/

#include
#include
#include
#include "win31.h" 
#include "evenmore.h" 
#include "oldstuff.h" 
#include "billrulz.h" 

/*
Reference: 
Internal memo #99281-95 from: 
William H. Gates III
to: 
Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project

William H. Gates III wrote: 
"I have serious doubts about the 'EASY' installation-definition. 
It might prevent customers to think that they actually bought
something _good_. Therefore I want the installation-definition
to be 'HARD'. 

Carry on,
God_Bill
" 
*/

#define INSTALL = HARD

void main() 
{
while(!CRASHED) 
{
display_copyright_message(); 
display_bill_rules_message(); 
do_nothing_loop(); 
if(first_time_installation) 
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile(); 
do_nothing_loop(); 
totally_mess_up_HPFS_file_system(); 
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2(); 
hang_system(); 
}
write_something(anything); 
display_copyright_message(); 
do_nothing_loop(); 
do_some_stuff(); 
if(still_not_crashed) 
{
display_copyright_message(); 
do_nothing_loop(); 
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
/*
Reference:
to:
William H. Gates III Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project wrote: "Dear Sir, Since we have found that this last piece of code within the 'if'- statement will never execute, we descided NOT to include it in the final code. This way we will save atleast another 5 megabytes of consumer- diskspace! Thank you for listening to us, the executive managers of the Chicago(tm)-project " */ /*if(still_not_crashed) { write_cheer(); finished(); }*/ create_general_protection_fault();} Thanks to Buddhika Kottahachchi for this contribution.

Back to the archive...

This message was sent on 16 Oct 1996