SOME INTERESTING DEFINITIONS OF COMPUTER TERMS
BIT A word used to describe computers, as in "Our
daughter's computer cost quite a bit."
BOOT What your friends give you because you spend
too much time bragging about your computer
skills.
BUG What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny
green computer screen for more than 15 minutes.
Also: what computer magazine companies do to
you after they get your name on their mailing
list.
CHIPS The fattening, non-nutritional food computer
users eat to avoid having to leave their
keyboards for meals.
COPY What you have to do during school tests because
you spend too much time at the computer and not
enough time studying.
CURSOR What you turn into when you can't get your
computer to perform, as in "You $#% computer!"
DISK What goes out in your back after bending over a
computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip.
DUMP The place all your former hobbies wind up soon
after you install your computer.
ERROR What you made the first time you walked into a
computer showroom to "just look."
EXPANSION UNIT The new room you have to build on to your home
to house your computer and all its peripherals.
FILE What a secretary can now do to her nails six
and a half hours a day, now that the computer
does her day's work in 30 minutes.
FLOPPY The condition of a constant computer user's
stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady
diet of junk food (see Chips").
HARDWARE Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other
heavy equipment you haven't laid a finger on
since getting your computer.
IBM The kind of missile your family members and
friends would like to drop on your computer so
you'll pay attention to them again.
MENU What you'll never see again after buying a
computer because you'll be too poor to eat in a
restaurant.
MONITOR Often thought to be a word associated with
computers, this word actually refers to those
obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall
pass at school.
PROGRAMS Those things you used to look at on your
television before you hooked your computer up
to it.
RETURN What lots of people do with their computers
after only a week and a half.
TERMINAL A place where you can find buses, trains and
really good deals on hot computers.
WINDOW What you heave the computer out of after you
accidentally erase a program that took you
three days to set up.
Thanks to Buddhika Kottahachchi for this contribution.
This message was sent on 24 Sep 1996