SOME INTERESTING DEFINITIONS OF COMPUTER TERMS BIT A word used to describe computers, as in "Our daughter's computer cost quite a bit." BOOT What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills. BUG What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what computer magazine companies do to you after they get your name on their mailing list. CHIPS The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals. COPY What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time at the computer and not enough time studying. CURSOR What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform, as in "You $#% computer!" DISK What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip. DUMP The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your computer. ERROR What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to "just look." EXPANSION UNIT The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals. FILE What a secretary can now do to her nails six and a half hours a day, now that the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes. FLOPPY The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see Chips"). HARDWARE Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven't laid a finger on since getting your computer. IBM The kind of missile your family members and friends would like to drop on your computer so you'll pay attention to them again. MENU What you'll never see again after buying a computer because you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant. MONITOR Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall pass at school. PROGRAMS Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked your computer up to it. RETURN What lots of people do with their computers after only a week and a half. TERMINAL A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot computers. WINDOW What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a program that took you three days to set up. Thanks to Buddhika Kottahachchi for this contribution.
This message was sent on 24 Sep 1996