Soap!

Sorry about there not being a mailing the last two days.  A friend invited
me over to spend the day.  I took my modem as well (never leave home without
it!), but unfortunately the phone line was a tad unreliable.  So, no list!
:).  - Roshan

Dear maid,
  Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom
since I brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little
bars from the shelf under the medicine chest & another three in the shower
soap dish. They are in my way.
      Thank You,
       S. Berman
------------------------------------------------------------
  Dear Room 238,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back in tomorrow, Thursday, from her
day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of your shower soap dish as you
requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way & put on top of
your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only
the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave
3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
   Kathy, Relief Maid
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Maid---I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little
bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3
little Camay's to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here
in the hotel for 2 weeks & have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need
those 6 little Camay's which are on the shelf. They are in my way when
shaving, brushing teeth, ect. Please remove them.
     S. Berman
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Mr. Berman,
     My day off was last Wed.; so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we
are instructed by the management. I took the 6 bars which were in your way on
the shelf & put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in
the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary
soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new
check-ins & which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday.
Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.
 Your regular maid;
   Dotty
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Mr. Berman,
  The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called
him last evening & said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have
assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any
past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I
can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM & 5PM.
Thank you,
       Elaine Carmen
       Housekeeper
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Miss Carmen,
    It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for
business before 7:45 AM & don't get back till 5:30 or 6:00 PM. That's the
reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only
asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap.
The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today,
since she left me another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along
with her regular delivery  of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days
here I have accumulated 24 litle bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
  S. Berman
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Mr. Berman,
   Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room
& remove the extra bars. If I can be of further assistance, please call
extension 1108 between 8AM to 5PM. Thank You,
  Elaine Carmen,
  Housekeeper
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Mr. Kensedder,
   My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room
including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night & had to call the
bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
 S. Berman
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Mr. Berman,
   I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I
cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are
instructed to leave 3 bars each time they service a room. The situation will
be rectified immediately. Please except our apologies for the inconvenience.
  Martin L. Kensedder
  Assistance Manager
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Mrs. Carmen,
   Who in the heck left 54 little bars of  Camay in my room? I came in last
night & found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I
want my one  darn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap
in here. All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size
Dial.
     S. Berman
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Mr. Berman,
   You complained of too much soap in your room so I had it removed. Then you
complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I  personally
returned them. The 24 Camay's which had been taken & the 3 Camay's  you were
supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere
Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps
so she also brought 24 Camay's plus the 3 daily Camay's. I don't know where
you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some
bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
     Elaine Carmen
     Housekeeper
------------------------------------------------------------
 Dear Mrs. Carmen,
    Just a note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of
today I possess:
 ~   On shelf under medicine cabinet- 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 & 1 stack of
2.
 ~ On Kleenex dispenser- 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 & 1 stack of 3.
 ~ On bedroom dresser- 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size
Ivory , & 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
 ~Inside medicine cabinet-14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 & 1 stack of 2.
 ~In shower soap dish-6 Camay, very moist.
 ~On northeast corner of tub-1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
 ~On northwest corner of tub-6 Camay in 2 stacks of 3.

 Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly
piled & dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a
tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom sill is not in use & will make
an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased
another bar of bath-size Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order
to avoid further misunderstandings.
  S. Berman


Back to the archive...

This message was sent on 20 Sep 1996