A Day in the Life of a Dog

Did you think that a dog's life was nothing but eating, sleeping, etc?
Well, here's something to change your mind! :)  

                *****A Day in the Life of a Dog******


6:00 a.m.-6:15 a.m.     Squeals and whines to be let out of the house.

6:16 a.m.               Rushes to garden in search of cats.

6:20 a.m.               No cats. Turns attention to newly planted bulbs.

6:21 a.m.               Digs up bulbs.

6:30 a.m.               Barks to come inside.

6:32 a.m.               Barks again - more loudly.

6:35 a.m.               To be sure all within twenty miles have heard, 
                        barks again.

6:40 a.m.               Back door opens. Enters house. Listens to make 
                        sure everyone in the house is now awake. Jumps 
                        on chair and goes to sleep.

8:00 a.m.               Food sounds from kitchen. Wakes and goes to
                        investigate. Hangs around chair of youngest human.
                        Catches most food before it hits the floor.

8:32 a.m.               Back to sleep.

9:30 a.m.               Mail arrives. Waits for door to open and chases
                        letter carrier.

9:45 a.m.               Sleep.

10:45 a.m.              Sleep.

11:00 a.m.              Vacuum cleaner switched on. Leaps from chair and
                        flees sound.  Goes to another room. Sleeps.

12:30 p.m.              Lunch sounds from kitchen. Scurries past newly
                        filled dog dish. Arrives first at table. Waits
                        for food to drop from table. None. Goes to dog
                        dish filled with food the TV ad says is irresistible
                        to dogs. Sniffs. Looks around to make sure
                        there's nothing better. Sighs. Eats.

1:30 p.m.               Whines at door to go out.

1:35 p.m.               Whines at door to come in.

1:40 p.m.               Hears friend barking outside. Whines to go out again.

1:45 p.m.               Door opens. Leaps from house and joins friends
                        chasing cars.

2:45 p.m.               Still chasing cars, with the odd cat thrown in for
                        variety.

3:00 p.m.               Decides to call on girl-friend up the street. She is
                        sleeping.

3:05 p.m.               Good Idea. Goes home and does the same.

4:00 p.m.               Children arrive home from school. Dog barks, yells,
                        goes crazy. Told to calm down. Barks and yells
                        some more.

4:07 p.m.               Grabbed by collar and thrown out of the house.

4:09 p.m.               After barking fails to open door, decides to call on
                        girl-friend once more. She has gone out. Runs to park. 
                        Finds another girl.

6:00 p.m.               Dinner time. Hurries home.

6:10 p.m.               Before door opens, lowers head and adopts pitiful
                        appearance.

6:11 p.m.               Doesn't work. "Get in here and where the hell have
                        you been?"

6:12 p.m.               Hides under dinner table.

6:55 p.m.               Hears rattle of leash. Leaps off best chair and
                        rushes to front door.

7:17 p.m.               At the park. Leash still attached. Sits quietly.
                        Leash released. Goes Bananas.

7:55 p.m.               Off leash.

8:22 p.m.               Off leash.

8:55 p.m.               Off leash.

9:15 p.m.               Owner asks if anyone has seen dog.

9:45 p.m.               Owner in luck. Someone has seen a dog swimming in
                        nearby lake.

10:00 p.m.              Back on leash. Shakes self over owner.

10:05 p.m.              Dragged back into house.

10:15 p.m.              Settles down in front of TV.

10:35 p.m.              Barks to go outside.

10:40 p.m.              Barks loudly to come back inside.

10:45 p.m.              Barks again before owner can open door. Neighbour
                        shouts that baby is trying to sleep. Also advises
                        what owner should do with dog.

10:46 p.m.              Dog barks very loudly in the direction of
                        neighbour's voice.

10:50 p.m.              Door opens. Dog rushes upstairs to bedroom. Hides
                        under bed. Owner leaves. Dog leaps on bed. Sleeps.

Credit: Rhonda Hill (submitted by Greg Hill)

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This message was sent on 21 Aug 1996