UNIX Problems

The Customer calls the UNIX Consultant with a question

Customer:  what is the command that will tell me the revision code of a
program ?

UNIX Consul :  yes, that's correct.

Cust :  no, what is it ?

UNIX Consul :  yes.

Cust :  so, which is the one ?

UNIX Consul :  no.'which' is used to find the program.

Cust :  stop this. who are you ?

UNIX Consul :  use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'.you can also 'finger yoo' to
get information about 'yoo'.

Cust :  all i want to know is what finds the revision code ?

UNIX Consul :  use 'what'.

Cust :  that's what i am trying to find out.isn't that true ?

UNIX Consul :  no. 'true' gives you 0.

Cust :  which one ?

UNIX Consul :  'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'

Cust :  let's get back to my problem. what program? how do i find it?

UNIX Consul :  type 'find/-name it' to find 'it'.type 'what program' to get
the revision code.

Cust :  i want to find the revision code.

UNIX Consul :  you can't 'find revisioncode',you must use 'what program'.

Cust :  which command will do what i need?

UNIX Consul :  no. 'which command' will find 'command'.

Cust :  i think i understand. let me write that.

UNIX Consul :  you can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.

Cust :  write what?

UNIX Consul :  no. 'write that'.'what program'.

Cust :  cut that out!

UNIX Consul :  yes. those are valid files for 'cut'.don't forget the
options.

Cust :  do you always do this ?

UNIX Consul :  'du' will give you disk usage.

Cust :  HELP!

UNIX Consul :  'help' is only used for Source Code Control System(SCCS).

Cust :  you make me angry.

UNIX Consul :  no, I don't 'make me' angry but i did 'make programname' when
i was upset once.

Cust :  i don't want to make trouble, so no more.

UNIX Consul :  no 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. every system
has 'more'.

Cust :  nice help! I'm confused more now.

UNIX Consul :  understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is
better not to 'nice help'. and  'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is.
unless of course 'now' is a file name.

Cust :  this is almost as confusing as my PC.

UNIX Consul :  i didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.let me get you to the
Pascal compiler team.
  

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This message was sent on 23 Jul 1996