Insurance Bloopers

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car
drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the
fewest words possible.  The instances of faulty writing serve to
confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
intentions.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put
my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times
before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law
and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I
reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I
did not see the other car.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my
universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and
had an accident.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over
him.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place
where no stop sign ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in time
to avoid the accident.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of
the road when I struck him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the
roof of my car.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat,
found that I had a fractured skull.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car
with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in
a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out
of its way, when it struck the front end.

To avoid hitting the bumper on the car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Back to the archive...

This message was sent on 9 Jul 1996