What kids know

Hi there!

        Some of you may have received a copy of an e-mail with the subject
"A Real Programmer".  This was intended for a friend.  Let me try and
explain what happened.  I had queued the "Real Programmer" message for the
friend, and then the humour mailing for the day.  When I dialled in to send
the mail, the first message to my friend went ok.  Then, while it was
transferring the recipients  of the mailing list, the line dropped.  Now,
the mailer seems to have felt cheated for not having a message text to send
to the addresses already transferred, so it decides to send the body of the
_previous_ message to these addresses!  Some of you might recall that
something similar happened about 2 or 3 months ago.  Anyway, hope it doesn't
happen again.  Enough chatter, here's the mailing for today - Roshan.
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The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays,
exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders.  They
illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the 'most interesting information
comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.'

*Question:What is one horsepower?
*Answer:One horsepower is  the amount  of energy it takes to drag a horse
500 feet in one second.

*You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to
 getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

*Talc is found on rocks and on babies.

*The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.

*When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with
 atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

*When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When
 planets do it we say they are orbiting.

*Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.

*While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it
 is really only centrificating.

*Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.

*South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still
 manage.

*Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back
 into a sun in the daytime.

*Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees
 between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between northand
 south.

*A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to
 go.

*There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be
 discovered. Finding them all means living forever.

*There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth 
 because of so much population stomping around up there these days.

*Lime is a green-tasting rock.

*Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to
 be oil.

*Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you
 should.

*Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're
 there.

*Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so
 sometimes it's brother against brother.

*Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have 
 never been able to make out the numbers.

*We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets
 blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

*To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists
 solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

*In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice
 as many H's as O's.

*Clouds are high flying fogs.

*I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and
 that is the important thing.

*Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is
 not much else to do.

*Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a
 drop, it does.

*Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.

*We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.

*Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.

*Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

*In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

*Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the
 strongest man.

*A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

*A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.

*A monsoon is a French gentleman.

*Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

*Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

*It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other
 places.

*The wind is like the air, only pushier.


Thanks to Betsalel Steinhart for this contribution to Ari's Humor List
(alfschtz@yul.yu.edu)


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This message was sent on 25 Jun 1996