Excuses

[ By the way, the list passed the 500 mark over the weekend - Roshan ]

The following were extracted from notes written to schools explaining the 
absences of students.

"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today," 
wrote a parent. "Please execute him." 
 
"Please excuse Mary for being absent," wrote another parent. "She was 
sick and I had her shot." 
 
Dear School: 
Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 
33. 
 
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. 
 
Pleazse excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out 
of a tree and misplaced his hip. 
 
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face. 
 
Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was 
hurt in the growing part. 
 
Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very 
close veins. 
 
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. 
 
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 
 
Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diarhear 
diarere dhiarhee the shits. 
 
Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhoea and his 
boots leak. 
 
Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust. 
 
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. 
 
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I 
don't know what size she wears. 
 
Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forget to get 
the Sunday paper off the porch. and when we found it Monday, we 
thought it was Sunday. 
 
Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did 
not find him till I started making the beds. 
 
Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend a 
funeral. 
 
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the 
weekend with the Marine's. 
 
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. 
 
Please excuse Burma, she had been sick and under the doctor. 
 
Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore 
throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever 
and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. 
I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu 
going around school.
 
Thanks to Robert Taylor for this contribution.

Back to the archive...

This message was sent on 28 May 1996