Southern Talk


  Southern to English
-----------------------

     BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My
     brother bard my pickup truck."

     JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage:
     "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

     MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
     Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd
     from him in munts."

     IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni." Usage: "Them
     N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

     RANCH - noun. A tool.
     Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my
     brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

     ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
     Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup
     truck."

     FAR - noun. A conflagration.
     Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup
     truck, that things gonna catch far."
  
     BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
     Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to
     work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

     TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
     Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a
     flat tar in my pickup truck."

     TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
     Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see
     that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

     HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.

     HOD - adverb. Not easy.
     Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

     RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
     Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

     TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
     Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

     RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
     Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

     LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
     Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

     FARN - adjective. Not local.
     Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn
     country."

     DID - adjective. Not alive.
     Usage: "He's did, Jim."

     EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage:
     "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

     BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
     Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

     JU-HERE - a question.
     Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson
     recently toured the University of Alabama?"

     HAZE - a contraction.
     Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

     SEED - verb, past tense.
 
     VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
     Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

     HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action. Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a
     favor?"
 
     GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Great
      ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"


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This message was sent on 16 May 1996